The Five Yamas: Yoga’s Ethical Guidelines for Living
Before yoga was about poses, it was about how you live.
The Yamas—the first limb of Patanjali's Eight Limbs of Yoga—come before the physical practice for a reason. They're not rules. They're not commandments. They're invitations to examine how you move through the world and how you treat yourself and others.
And here's what I've learned after years of practice: the real yoga happens here, in these ethical guidelines, not in how perfectly you can hold a pose.
Why the Yamas Come First
When I first started teaching yoga, someone asked me: "Why do the Yamas come before asana? Why does Patanjali talk about ethics before he talks about the poses?"
It stopped me in my tracks because it's such an important question.
Here's what I've come to understand:
You can't quiet the mind if you're not living in integrity.
If you're lying to yourself or others, your mind knows. If you're harming yourself with your words or your impossible standards, your nervous system feels it. If you're grasping onto things that don't serve you, you're creating your own suffering.
The Yamas aren't about becoming a "good person." They're about removing the obstacles to your own peace.
They're about aligning your actions with your values so there's no gap between who you are and how you show up. Because that gap? That's where the anxiety lives. That's where the reactivity comes from.
The physical practice—the poses, the breathwork, the meditation—can't do their work if you're constantly at war with yourself.
That's why the Yamas come first.
Growing Up With These Principles
I grew up in an Indian household where these weren't called "the Yamas." They were just how we lived.
Conversations about non-harming, about truth, about not grasping onto impermanent things—these were woven into daily life. My family didn't say, "Today we're practicing Ahimsa." They just lived it.
But here's the thing: knowing these principles intellectually and actually practicing them in the messy moments of real life? That's two very different things.
I can tell you all about Satya—truthfulness. But when I'm in a situation where telling the truth feels uncomfortable, where it's easier to just go along with what everyone else wants? That's when the real practice begins.
The Yamas aren't theoretical. They're meant to be lived. Tested. Practiced over and over again in the moments that challenge you most.
The Five Yamas: How You Live With Others
Before we dive in, let me clarify something important:
The Yamas are about how you relate to the world around you—your interactions, your relationships, your ethical conduct toward others.
The Niyamas (which we'll explore in the next post) are about your inner work—how you live with yourself, your personal practices, your self-discipline.
Think of it this way:
Yamas = Your relationship with others and the world
Niyamas = Your relationship with yourself
Both are essential. But they're different practices.
Now, here's something interesting: even though the Yamas are traditionally about how we relate to others, I've found that they also deeply apply to how we treat ourselves. Because you can't show up well for others if you're not showing up well for yourself.
Let me walk you through each one—not as abstract concepts, but as questions for your actual life right now.
1. AHIMSA — Non-Harming
Most people hear "non-harming" and think: Don't hurt other people. Got it.
But what about the violence you do to yourself?
The harsh self-talk when you make a mistake.
The impossible standards you hold yourself to.
The way you push your body past its limits.
The self-criticism that runs on a loop in your mind.
Ahimsa starts with you.
I notice this in my yoga classes all the time. Someone's struggling in a pose, and instead of backing off or finding another variation, they push harder. They grit their teeth. They force it.
And I ask: "What would it look like to practice Ahimsa right now? What would it feel like to be gentle with yourself instead of punishing?"
The practice: Notice when you're being “violent” toward yourself—with your words, your thoughts, your expectations. What would it look like to extend the same kindness to yourself that you'd offer a good friend?
2. SATYA — Truthfulness
Satya isn't just about not lying. It's about living your truth.
It's asking: Am I being authentic right now, or am I performing a version of myself that I think is acceptable?
I see this all the time—in myself, in my students, in the people I work with.
We say yes when we mean no because we don't want to disappoint anyone.
We hide parts of ourselves that don't fit the image we think we should project.
We pretend we're fine when we're not.
And every time we do that, we create a gap between who we are and how we're showing up. That gap is exhausting.
Satya is the practice of closing that gap.
The practice: Notice when you're not being truthful—with yourself or others. Where are you performing instead of being present? What truth are you avoiding because it feels uncomfortable?
3. ASTEYA — Non-Stealing
You're probably thinking: I don't steal. I'm a good person. This one doesn't apply to me.
But Asteya goes deeper than that.
It's about not stealing from yourself.
Are you stealing your own time by saying yes to things you don't actually want to do?
Are you stealing your energy by giving it to people and situations that drain you?
Are you stealing your joy by constantly comparing yourself to others?
Are you stealing your peace by scrolling mindlessly when you need rest?
Every time you give your time, attention, or energy to something that doesn't align with your values, you're stealing from yourself.
The practice: Notice where your time and energy actually go. Are you investing in what matters to you, or are you giving yourself away to things that don't serve you?
4. BRAHMACHARYA — Right Use of Energy
Brahmacharya is often translated as "celibacy" or "abstinence," and that scares people off. But that's not what it means in a modern, practical context.
It means: Where is your energy going?
Are you pouring your energy into drama that doesn't need your attention?
Are you spending hours scrolling social media when you're exhausted?
Are you overthinking situations you can't control?
Are you people-pleasing to the point of depletion?
Your energy is finite. Brahmacharya is about being intentional with how you use it.
I think about this as a mom, as a civic leader, as someone running a business. There are a million things demanding my attention at any given moment. And if I say yes to everything, I have nothing left for what actually matters.
The practice: Pay attention to what drains you and what energizes you. Where are you leaking energy? What would it look like to redirect that energy toward what truly aligns with your values and purpose?
5. APARIGRAHA — Non-Grasping
This is the one I struggle with most.
Aparigraha means letting go. Not grasping. Not clinging to things that are impermanent.
And we grasp onto everything.
Old grudges and anger we won't release.
Timelines that no longer make sense.
Relationships that have changed but we're trying to keep the same.
Versions of ourselves we've outgrown but are still holding onto.
Control over outcomes we can't actually control.
I see this in my own life constantly. I want things to go a certain way. I have a plan. And when life doesn't cooperate, I grasp harder. I try to force it.
But yoga teaches me: Let go. Loosen your grip. Trust the process.
Aparigraha isn't about giving up. It's about making space for what wants to come next by releasing what's no longer serving you.
The practice: Notice what you're holding onto that's weighing you down. What would it feel like to loosen your grip just a little? Not to abandon it completely, but to make space for something new?
A Real Example: Practicing the Yamas Off the Mat
Let me give you a real moment from my life where I had to practice these.
A few months ago, I was asked to take on another leadership role in my community. It was an honor to be asked. And my first instinct was to say yes immediately.
But I paused. I sat with it. And I asked myself:
Ahimsa: If I say yes, am I being kind to myself? Or am I adding one more thing to an already full plate and setting myself up to be resentful and exhausted?
Satya: Do I actually want to do this? Or do I just feel like I should because saying no feels uncomfortable?
Asteya: If I take this on, what am I stealing from myself? Time with my family? Energy for my business? My own rest and recovery?
Brahmacharya: Where is my energy already going? Do I have the bandwidth for this, or am I already stretched too thin?
Aparigraha: Am I grasping onto an identity of "the person who says yes to everything"? Can I let that go?
After sitting with those questions, I realized: the truthful, kind, aligned answer was no.
So I said no.
And it felt uncomfortable. But it also felt like integrity.
That's the Yamas in action. Not on a yoga mat. In real life, in a real decision, in a real moment.
The Invitation: Start With One
If you've never practiced the Yamas before, don't try to do all five at once.
Pick one that speaks to you right now.
Maybe it's Ahimsa because you're exhausted from being so hard on yourself.
Maybe it's Satya because you're tired of performing instead of being real.
Maybe it's Aparigraha because you're holding onto something that's weighing you down.
Start there.
Notice when you're living in alignment with that Yama—and when you're not.
Not to judge yourself. Not to make yourself wrong. Just to notice.
Because awareness is always the first step.
You can't change what you don't see. And once you see it, you have a choice.
That's the power of the Yamas.
They give you a framework for examining your life—not from shame, but from curiosity. Not from judgment, but from a desire to live more intentionally, more authentically, more aligned.
And when you live that way? You don't need to force the mind to be quiet.
It quiets on its own.
Quieting the Mind. Awakening the Self.
Reflections Prompts
Take some time to journal on these questions:
Ahimsa: Where am I being harsh or violent toward myself? What would kindness look like?
Satya: Where am I not being truthful—with myself or others? What truth am I avoiding?
Asteya: Where am I stealing from myself? (Time, energy, joy, peace?)
Brahmacharya: Where is my energy actually going? Is it aligned with my values?
Aparigraha: What am I holding onto that's weighing me down? What would it feel like to loosen my grip?
Share Your Thoughts
Which Yama resonates with you most right now? What are you noticing in your own practice? Share in the comments below.
Ready to explore the Yamas in your own life? Join me for a class, book a private session, or dive deeper through our offerings. Let's practice together.